I Am a Medicine Woman, Damnit!!!
3:39pm . somewhere in the Peruvian Rainforest . April 4 2023
My knees feel shot
my forehead tense
My 3rd eye active
lingers suspense.
➖
Ribcage is barren,
esophagus sore.
Have I thrown up so much acid
in this lifetime before?
➖
Still, I can’t shake the feeling
of love that grows within me.
Is this the healer’s torture?
Feeling pain, love, and no pity?
➖
The ceremony was great.
Really, one of my best.
But it’s been 15 hours
and my 3rd eye will not rest.
➖
I can not move my body,
but I feel it empty under me.
Is this the price of healing?
Losing your soul during a ceremony?
➖
Still, with this I feel
my heart expand with Light -
The beauty, the joy, the richness
of the medicine last night.
➖
I don’t really know what happened
and I’m not going to try to guess.
You’ll drive yourself insane
making sense of a cosmic mess.
➖
My ribs are sore,
3rd eye in pain.
My heart is open,
perception is sane.
➖
And my anxiety’s gone -
so is the PTSD.
Is this the healer’s torture?
Not accepting you’re free?
➖
I feel confused,
but also clear.
Ayahuasca will do that,
mix love with fear.
➖
Well, back to work
to retrieve my soul.
I’ve done this before.
I know my role.
➖
I’ve lost my mind
& I’m okay with that.
But next time I want someone else to heal me
so I can fucking rest.